My sister wrote some thoughts on being a mother. She said, “I’ve only been a mother for five years, and it’s
tough. My experience was made even harder by my post-partum depression, but
even still I love the little things that make motherhood wonderful.
Holding little tiny hands, as they learn to walk with
your support. Feeling those hands grow, and marveling at how tall they get in
such a short amount of time. Marveling at how they used to fit inside you.
All the hugs from tiny arms that fit perfectly around
your neck, and all the cuddles, with their head upon your chest. (Learning how
to not breathe, so as to not disturb their precious sleep, and realizing that
other parents do that, too.)
The super slobbery baby kisses. How cute it is when
they blow their kisses. When they decide to do it just because.
Having dance parties to the Primary songs you play on
the piano, or the My Little Pony music, or the goofy stuff your husband brings
home. Watching your toddler break dance, and being stunned that he was born
that way.
Watching them love each other, miss each other, even
act naughty because they can’t handle the change of being apart.
Discovering their personalities, and realizing that
each of them is completely different from the others, but sometimes they all
like the same things, just for fun.
Watching them grow and learn and discover new things
about this world.
Loving them so much. Having tickle parties. Playing
peek-a-boo. Playing hide-and-seek or tag. Laughing.
Reading books. Discovering their favorites. Listening
to them read to each other when you’re busy.
There are so many beautiful moments in motherhood.
They are sweet and special and should never be forgotten or drowned out by the
world. I am so grateful to be a mother, and love that I get the chance to do
so.”
I’m so
grateful for my sister, because I have only had about a month and a half to
prepare for my mission, so it’s essentially like, “I dare you to find a year
and a half’s worth of modest clothing all in a month and a half.” It would have been absolutely impossible to
do without her, and her awesome husband who so nicely provides for her family
so she can go out and do those things when needed.
After really looking into
the subject of motherhood, I found a few big ways that it’s being attacked in
the world. The first way that I found is socially.
The two
groups that I thought attacked it straight on are the Ordained Women group and
those who are in favor of same-sex marriage.
I want to give an analogy really quick.
So there is a doctor and
there is an engineer who are trying to save a patients life. Your first thought may be, well doctors are
the ones who save lives, so obviously there’s no need for the engineer, however
the doctor doesn’t have the technology he needs in order to save the patients
life, so with careful collaboration, the engineer creates a new machine, and is
able to show the doctor how it should be used in order for the life to be
saved. Which results in just what they
were going for, a saved life.
That is exactly what the
relationship between a mother and father is.
Two separate roles that work together to for one purpose, raising
strong, worthy children of God. You
can’t have two doctors because even with those two great minds, neither of them
were trained to put a machine together, and you can’t have two engineers
because they’ll probably snip an artery, but you also can’t have the engineer
doing the job along with the doctor because nobody will be working on the
machine, and you can’t have the doctor work on the machine because then the
patient will be neglected.
The world tells us that society
has taught women to be feminine and men to be masculine, but that’s a lie. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World it
states, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal,
and eternal identity and purpose.” That
means that from the beginning of time I have been feminine, and I will be for
all of eternity. All of you boys have
always been masculine and always will be.
President James E. Faust once said that femininity, “is the divine
adornment of humanity. It finds
expression in your … capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance,
sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quite
strength. It is manifest differently in
each girl or woman, but each … possesses it.
Femininity is part of your inner beauty.”
Those qualities that he
listed are what make a mother so wonderful.
Their capacity to love, their spirituality, their sensitivity, their
gentleness. That’s why kids are always asking
Dad for Mom. Because they have
characteristics that are perfect for raising children.
In a talk given by
Margaret D. Nadauld in the October 2000 general conference she said, “When you
observe kind and gentle mothers in action, you see women of great
strength. Their families can feel a
spirit of love and respect and safety when they are near her as she seeks the
companionship of the Holy Ghost and the guidance of His Spirit. They are blessed by her wisdom and good
judgment. The husband and children whose
lives they bless, will contribute to the stability of societies all over this
world.”
As a mothers influence is
strengthened in her home, her children will see the good that only a mother can
bring, and they will not be able to deny that that cannot be achieved with two
dads, and that motherhood is equal to that of the priesthood. Just because the world looks down on
motherhood doesn’t mean God does.
Another
way that I’ve found motherhood is being attacked is by distractions. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World it
says, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and
righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and
protection for their families. Mothers
are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and
mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may
necessitate individual adaptation.” I know ladies, it’s a sacrifice, and yes,
like the proclamation said there are exceptions to this, but I know you’ll be
blessed as you try to live as closely to that as possible. So please, don’t let anything come before
your children.
I was
reading Elder D. Todd Christofferson’s talk from this past general conference
entitled, “Why Marriage, Why Family” He
brought up a lot of really wonderful things in that talk. One thing in particular that he said was, “In
the premortal world, Lucifer rebelled against God and His plan, and his
opposition only grows in intensity. He
fights to discourage marriage and the formation of families, and where
marriages and families are formed, he does what he can to disrupt them. He attacks everything that is sacred about
human sexuality, tearing it from the context of marriage with a seemingly
infinite array of immoral thoughts and acts.
He seeks to convince men and women that marriage and family priorities
can be ignored or abandoned, or at least made subservient to careers, other
achievements, and the quest for self-fulfillment and individual autonomy. Certainly the adversary is pleased when
parents neglect to teach and train their children to have faith in Christ and
be spiritually born again. Brothers and
sisters, many things are good, many are important, but only a few are
essential.”
I want to
read that last line again because I think it is really really important. “Many things are good, many are important,
but only a few are essential.” Mothers,
how often are you neglecting to spend time with your children because you have
a new idea for an article on your mommy blog, or because you have to finish up
your amazing new creation? How much
money would you spend on your child’s salvation? Is it more than you make at your job? Mothers, please, don’t ever neglect your
child. If you keep pushing your child
away, he may start feeling like he doesn’t matter to you, and then he’ll start
wondering if he can come up to you and say, “Hey Mom, I think I’m gay.” Or “Hey
Mom, I really screwed up.” If you won’t
teach your child, the world will, and that is terrifying.
Bear
testimony
Year ago started
thinking
November start
preparing
Talk about fears
No testimony even
after reading
Mom always talked
about mission
“You don’t have to
wait to read”
Read in March
So as I was
preparing this talk, I looked in the Bible dictionary, and I loved pretty much
everything it had to say about faith, so I’m going to be using what it said a
lot throughout my talk.
The first thing I
found significant that it said under faith is, “Faith is a principle of action
and of power.” When I found out the book
of Mormon was true. I didn’t just have
one small moment of, “Praise the Lord it is true!” and then go to bed. No, I’m up here speaking because I’m about to
leave on a mission. But please don’t
think, “Well crap, I didn’t go on a mission right after I found out the BoM was
true.” Believe me this is one of my bigger
actions of faith. Actually it’s probably
my biggest action of faith. When you get
an answer that the BoM is true or that Jo Smith was a prophet or that God wants
you doing this or that. Go act on it. Figure
out what you’re going to do now that you have that knowledge. Go do something. Go make yourself a better person, or go share
it with a friend , or heck share it with your mom, I bet she’d love that! But
don’t just say, “Cool God, sounds great. And then go on with your life as if it
never happened. If you don’t act on a
spiritual moment you just had, was it really worth the spiritual moment?
Next in the Bible
dictionary it says, “All true faith must be based upon correct knowledge or it
cannot produce the desired results.” I
think this is really significant. It has
to be bases upon correct knowledge.
What I first thought of when I read correct knowledge was, are we being honest
with ourselves? There’s a quote by Jeffrey R. Holland and it says, “If it was
right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right
now.” I think we as humans have a
tendency to have these spiritual moments and we’ll know exactly what to do, but
once those moments are over Satan will have room to come in and warp how we
remember those experiences, and we’ll start second guessing ourselves. You’ve got to do what you decided to do while
the spirit was there with you. You’ve
got to be honest with yourself.
The last thing the Bible dictionary stated that I thought was great was, “Although faith is a
gift, it must be cultured and sought after until it grows from a tiny seed to
a great tree.” We’ve all heard the song,
“Faith is like a little seed, if planted it will grow.” But I think the majority of the time you’ve
got to do more than simply plant that seed.
You’ve got to work on it. I’m
sure you can ask these two missionaries behind me and anyone else who’s served
a mission of times when they go and teach the first lesson and the investigator
is so excited and the missionaries ask, “Hey, will you read the BoM?” And they’re just like, “Yeah!” and the
missionaries come back later like, “So did you read it?” And they’re like, “No....”
But they’re still so excited about it and want it in their life, which who
wouldn’t? Eternal Families, and being free of all sins…. But they won’t read it, and as much as they
love the message, they’re not putting in the work they need to. (It’s going back to the idea that true faith
always has an action.) And it’s sad but
eventually it gets to the point that there’s nothing else you can do to help
them progress because they won’t put in the work necessary. You have to put in what you want to get out of
it.
Okay, just before
I end, I want to share one more little thought.
This next part is for anyone who may be having doubts about anything in
the church. There is this awesome quote
that I love so much that came from one of my institute teachers. He said, “There is enough proof supporting
the church that you can believe in it, but there’s enough proof against the
church that you have to have faith.” I
love that. It is so true. There are a lot of random answers the church
gives that may seem like cop outs, such as, “You have no proof that God
exists.” “Well, you have no proof that he doesn’t exist.” Or, that quote from
Uchtdorf, “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith,” or “Why is this
thing this way?” “Oh well, that’s
something God hasn’t told us because we can’t comprehend that right now.” They
all sound like such cop outs. I’m not
trying to undermine any of them, they’re all great. Uchtdorf’s quote has especially helped me,
but none of them really give a straightforward answer to anything. But you know what? You’ve got to look at both
sides. Is it possible that there will
one day be proof that God exists?
Yeah. Is it possible that our
doubts are wrong and our faith is right?
You bet. Is it possible that we
really can’t comprehend what God comprehends? Darn right it is.
Bear testimony
