Sunday, September 13, 2015

"Motherhood" - Erin's talks for her farewells



My sister wrote some thoughts on being a mother. She said, “I’ve only been a mother for five years, and it’s tough. My experience was made even harder by my post-partum depression, but even still I love the little things that make motherhood wonderful.

Holding little tiny hands, as they learn to walk with your support. Feeling those hands grow, and marveling at how tall they get in such a short amount of time. Marveling at how they used to fit inside you.

All the hugs from tiny arms that fit perfectly around your neck, and all the cuddles, with their head upon your chest. (Learning how to not breathe, so as to not disturb their precious sleep, and realizing that other parents do that, too.)

The super slobbery baby kisses. How cute it is when they blow their kisses. When they decide to do it just because.

Having dance parties to the Primary songs you play on the piano, or the My Little Pony music, or the goofy stuff your husband brings home. Watching your toddler break dance, and being stunned that he was born that way.

Watching them love each other, miss each other, even act naughty because they can’t handle the change of being apart.

Discovering their personalities, and realizing that each of them is completely different from the others, but sometimes they all like the same things, just for fun.

Watching them grow and learn and discover new things about this world.

Loving them so much. Having tickle parties. Playing peek-a-boo. Playing hide-and-seek or tag. Laughing.

Reading books. Discovering their favorites. Listening to them read to each other when you’re busy.

There are so many beautiful moments in motherhood. They are sweet and special and should never be forgotten or drowned out by the world. I am so grateful to be a mother, and love that I get the chance to do so.”

        I’m so grateful for my sister, because I have only had about a month and a half to prepare for my mission, so it’s essentially like, “I dare you to find a year and a half’s worth of modest clothing all in a month and a half.”  It would have been absolutely impossible to do without her, and her awesome husband who so nicely provides for her family so she can go out and do those things when needed.

After really looking into the subject of motherhood, I found a few big ways that it’s being attacked in the world. The first way that I found is socially.

        The two groups that I thought attacked it straight on are the Ordained Women group and those who are in favor of same-sex marriage.  I want to give an analogy really quick. 

So there is a doctor and there is an engineer who are trying to save a patients life.  Your first thought may be, well doctors are the ones who save lives, so obviously there’s no need for the engineer, however the doctor doesn’t have the technology he needs in order to save the patients life, so with careful collaboration, the engineer creates a new machine, and is able to show the doctor how it should be used in order for the life to be saved.  Which results in just what they were going for, a saved life.

That is exactly what the relationship between a mother and father is.  Two separate roles that work together to for one purpose, raising strong, worthy children of God.  You can’t have two doctors because even with those two great minds, neither of them were trained to put a machine together, and you can’t have two engineers because they’ll probably snip an artery, but you also can’t have the engineer doing the job along with the doctor because nobody will be working on the machine, and you can’t have the doctor work on the machine because then the patient will be neglected. 
  
The world tells us that society has taught women to be feminine and men to be masculine, but that’s a lie.  In The Family: A Proclamation to the World it states, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”  That means that from the beginning of time I have been feminine, and I will be for all of eternity.  All of you boys have always been masculine and always will be.  President James E. Faust once said that femininity, “is the divine adornment of humanity.  It finds expression in your … capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quite strength.  It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each … possesses it.  Femininity is part of your inner beauty.” 
Those qualities that he listed are what make a mother so wonderful.  Their capacity to love, their spirituality, their sensitivity, their gentleness.  That’s why kids are always asking Dad for Mom.  Because they have characteristics that are perfect for raising children.

In a talk given by Margaret D. Nadauld in the October 2000 general conference she said, “When you observe kind and gentle mothers in action, you see women of great strength.  Their families can feel a spirit of love and respect and safety when they are near her as she seeks the companionship of the Holy Ghost and the guidance of His Spirit.  They are blessed by her wisdom and good judgment.  The husband and children whose lives they bless, will contribute to the stability of societies all over this world.”

As a mothers influence is strengthened in her home, her children will see the good that only a mother can bring, and they will not be able to deny that that cannot be achieved with two dads, and that motherhood is equal to that of the priesthood.  Just because the world looks down on motherhood doesn’t mean God does.

        Another way that I’ve found motherhood is being attacked is by distractions.  In The Family: A Proclamation to the World it says, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.  Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.  In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.  Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.” I know ladies, it’s a sacrifice, and yes, like the proclamation said there are exceptions to this, but I know you’ll be blessed as you try to live as closely to that as possible.  So please, don’t let anything come before your children.

        I was reading Elder D. Todd Christofferson’s talk from this past general conference entitled, “Why Marriage, Why Family”  He brought up a lot of really wonderful things in that talk.  One thing in particular that he said was, “In the premortal world, Lucifer rebelled against God and His plan, and his opposition only grows in intensity.  He fights to discourage marriage and the formation of families, and where marriages and families are formed, he does what he can to disrupt them.  He attacks everything that is sacred about human sexuality, tearing it from the context of marriage with a seemingly infinite array of immoral thoughts and acts.  He seeks to convince men and women that marriage and family priorities can be ignored or abandoned, or at least made subservient to careers, other achievements, and the quest for self-fulfillment and individual autonomy.  Certainly the adversary is pleased when parents neglect to teach and train their children to have faith in Christ and be spiritually born again.  Brothers and sisters, many things are good, many are important, but only a few are essential.”

        I want to read that last line again because I think it is really really important.  “Many things are good, many are important, but only a few are essential.”  Mothers, how often are you neglecting to spend time with your children because you have a new idea for an article on your mommy blog, or because you have to finish up your amazing new creation?  How much money would you spend on your child’s salvation?  Is it more than you make at your job?  Mothers, please, don’t ever neglect your child.  If you keep pushing your child away, he may start feeling like he doesn’t matter to you, and then he’ll start wondering if he can come up to you and say, “Hey Mom, I think I’m gay.” Or “Hey Mom, I really screwed up.”  If you won’t teach your child, the world will, and that is terrifying.
        Bear testimony
            






Year ago started thinking
November start preparing
Talk about fears
No testimony even after reading
Mom always talked about mission
“You don’t have to wait to read”
Read in March

So as I was preparing this talk, I looked in the Bible dictionary, and I loved pretty much everything it had to say about faith, so I’m going to be using what it said a lot throughout my talk.

The first thing I found significant that it said under faith is, “Faith is a principle of action and of power.”  When I found out the book of Mormon was true.  I didn’t just have one small moment of, “Praise the Lord it is true!” and then go to bed.  No, I’m up here speaking because I’m about to leave on a mission.  But please don’t think, “Well crap, I didn’t go on a mission right after I found out the BoM was true.”  Believe me this is one of my bigger actions of faith.  Actually it’s probably my biggest action of faith.  When you get an answer that the BoM is true or that Jo Smith was a prophet or that God wants you doing this or that.  Go act on it. Figure out what you’re going to do now that you have that knowledge.  Go do something.  Go make yourself a better person, or go share it with a friend , or heck share it with your mom, I bet she’d love that! But don’t just say, “Cool God, sounds great. And then go on with your life as if it never happened.  If you don’t act on a spiritual moment you just had, was it really worth the spiritual moment?

Next in the Bible dictionary it says, “All true faith must be based upon correct knowledge or it cannot produce the desired results.”  I think this is really significant.  It has to be bases upon correct knowledge. What I first thought of when I read correct knowledge was, are we being honest with ourselves? There’s a quote by Jeffrey R. Holland and it says, “If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now.”  I think we as humans have a tendency to have these spiritual moments and we’ll know exactly what to do, but once those moments are over Satan will have room to come in and warp how we remember those experiences, and we’ll start second guessing ourselves.  You’ve got to do what you decided to do while the spirit was there with you.  You’ve got to be honest with yourself.
 
The last thing the Bible dictionary stated that I thought was great was, “Although faith is a gift, it must be cultured and sought after until it grows from a tiny seed to a great tree.”  We’ve all heard the song, “Faith is like a little seed, if planted it will grow.”  But I think the majority of the time you’ve got to do more than simply plant that seed.  You’ve got to work on it.  I’m sure you can ask these two missionaries behind me and anyone else who’s served a mission of times when they go and teach the first lesson and the investigator is so excited and the missionaries ask, “Hey, will you read the BoM?”  And they’re just like, “Yeah!” and the missionaries come back later like, “So did you read it?” And they’re like, “No....” But they’re still so excited about it and want it in their life, which who wouldn’t? Eternal Families, and being free of all sins….  But they won’t read it, and as much as they love the message, they’re not putting in the work they need to.  (It’s going back to the idea that true faith always has an action.)  And it’s sad but eventually it gets to the point that there’s nothing else you can do to help them progress because they won’t put in the work necessary.  You have to put in what you want to get out of it. 

Okay, just before I end, I want to share one more little thought.  This next part is for anyone who may be having doubts about anything in the church.  There is this awesome quote that I love so much that came from one of my institute teachers.  He said, “There is enough proof supporting the church that you can believe in it, but there’s enough proof against the church that you have to have faith.”  I love that.  It is so true.  There are a lot of random answers the church gives that may seem like cop outs, such as, “You have no proof that God exists.” “Well, you have no proof that he doesn’t exist.” Or, that quote from Uchtdorf, “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith,” or “Why is this thing this way?”  “Oh well, that’s something God hasn’t told us because we can’t comprehend that right now.” They all sound like such cop outs.  I’m not trying to undermine any of them, they’re all great.  Uchtdorf’s quote has especially helped me, but none of them really give a straightforward answer to anything.  But you know what? You’ve got to look at both sides.  Is it possible that there will one day be proof that God exists?  Yeah.  Is it possible that our doubts are wrong and our faith is right?  You bet.  Is it possible that we really can’t comprehend what God comprehends? Darn right it is.

Bear testimony