"Marriage and Family" - a review of the Proclamation to the Family - Talk for Erin's farewell

Introduction – it has been a very busy time preparing for Erin to leave for her mission to Tennessee. Since we are here speaking in Sacrament meeting, the time must be getting close. I’m grateful that she has a desire to serve. She will have wonderful experiences and will have the opportunity to learn the Gospel and strengthen her testimony. Missions are wonderful in that way. Erin’s faith in the Gospel never has faltered as she has gotten older. Early in her life she was labeled as the peacemaker in our house, a gift she came to earth with. As time has gone on I've seen her use that quality many times and I've seen that quality develop. She also has the ability to make everyone feel wonderful around her. These qualities will help her often in the mission field. She has been a constant friend to me and I will miss her.  

As a missionary, you have the opportunity to become a better person. As you teach and bear testimony of the truths of the Gospel, the Holy Ghost witnesses to you and to those you teach of the truthfulness of your message. Each witness strengthens your testimony and creates in you a more obedient heart. It is a wonderful blessing.

The topic given to us to speak about this month is "marriage and family." Interestingly enough, Erin and I have struggled with this topic. However, we wholeheartedly believe and endorse the Proclamation to the Family in everything that it says. I have read this document several times in preparation for this talk, and I testify to you that this document is the word of God to his children. They are not new words, but they are a re-wording of the plan God established in the beginning. While Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, they received this important plan that would go forward in the world.   

Gen. 3:16-20 - Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

 17 And unto Adam he said, because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

 18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

 19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

 20 And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.

We have seen this pattern of family life continue throughout the generations in all societies for 1000’s of years. Because of the obscuring of this plan in more recent days through the designs of Satan, the Lord thought it was necessary to reiterate this plan.

I have taken a lot of my remarks from the talk by Sis. Bonnie Oscarson, entitled "Defenders of the Family Proclamation." Sister Oscarson says, "There are three principles taught in the proclamation which I think are especially in need of steadfast defenders. The first is marriage between a man and a woman, the second is elevating the divine roles of mothers and fathers, and the third is the sanctity of the home." I will address each of these.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, "that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children...

"The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

"We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan...

"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan."

The trend toward anything other than this had been gradually changing until now the world has given the word “family” a new definition.  Let me say that I know several people who experience same-sex attraction. They are good fun talented people, and I acknowledge that it is a difficult trial. Members of the church who have felt concern for individuals who experience same-sex attraction have brought up the hope that the Church leaders will change to adopt the definition of the world. They have used the arguments that the church changes things all the time. Yes, the church does change things. In fact, it seems that they change things more and more often in today’s world, but the doctrine doesn't change. One specific example mentioned is the change that happened when the blacks were given the priesthood. Let's look into this argument for a minute.

During the first two decades of the Church’s existence, a few black men were ordained to the priesthood probably because the prophet Joseph Smith had no reason to question this. In 1850, the U.S. Congress created the Utah territory, and the U.S. President appointed Brigham Young to the position of territorial governor. Southerners who had converted to the Church and migrated to Utah with their slaves raised the question of slavery’s legal status in the territory. This is when Pres. Brigham Young went to the Lord in search of answers. In two speeches delivered before the Utah territorial legislature in January and February 1852, a fairly lengthy transcript that was difficult to read, Brigham Young announced a policy restricting men of black African descent from priesthood ordination. At the same time, President Young said that at some future day, black Church members would “have [all] the privilege and more” enjoyed by other members. He also made it known that the revelation he had received about the blacks and the priesthood was something that he could not change lest his eternal standing be in danger.

Now, comparing it, Elder Christofferson, one of our 12 apostles was interviewed by KUTV News after a Utah bill was passed to discourage discrimination to those of same-sex attraction. After several questions, the interviewer asked one final question. He said, "Obviously again, we have seen rhetoric from church leaders change or soften over time, is it possible would the church ever one day accept monogamous same-sex marriage or move further beyond the position that you are currently at?"  Elder Christofferson answered, "I don't think so because that is such a fundamental aspect of what we see as the purpose of life. You know we talk about the plan of salvation, as we call it, that takes into account the pre-mortal existence, this current existence, and what comes hereafter, marriage between a man and a woman, the family that grows out of that, all of that is so fundamental to what has happened, what needs to happen here, what comes hereafter, that without it it falls apart, so I don't think we can take away the cornerstone without everything else coming down."  The interviewer added, "Now, you say you don't think, are you leaving any room at all for... and Elder Christofferson finished with "No, no room...,"

An understanding of the plan of our Father in Heaven makes it obvious the stance the Church has taken, but beyond that still is the fact that His prophet and apostles have taken a stance that, with faith, we must accept. God will not allow a prophet to lead us astray. It was President Wilford Woodruff who, in his closing years, made this statement: “I ask my Heavenly Father to pour out his spirit upon me, as his servant, that in my advanced age, and during the few days I have to spend here in the flesh, I may be led by his inspiration. I say to Israel, the Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as president of this Church to lead you astray. It is not in the program. It is not in the mind of God. If I were to attempt that, the Lord would remove me out of my place, and so he will any other man who attempts to lead the children of men astray from his oracles of God and from their duty. …” (The Discourses of Wilford Woodruff [Bookcraft, 1969], pp. 212–13.) The spirit testified to me that this is true.

I love the Primary song "Keep the Commandments.” It teaches simple truths about having faith in our leaders. It says, 

Keep the commandments; keep the commandments!

In this there is safety; in this there is peace.

He will send blessings; He will send blessings.

Words of a prophet: Keep the commandments.

In this there is safety and peace.

We are His children; we are His children,

And we must be tested to show we are true.

Hold to His promises; Hold to His promises,

Heeding the prophets: Keep the commandments.

In this there is safety and peace.”

Let’s look at the 2^nd point, defending the roles of mother and father. As mentioned already, even before Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden, her role in the scheme of things was outlined. Eve was our first role model, and throughout history women have held various places in the history of humanity. Now we are in the dispensation of the restitution of all things, “which God hath spoken by the mouth of all his holy prophets since the world began.” (Acts 3:20-21.)  So, what types of things have been restored? The Gospel of Jesus Christ was restored with the priesthood and sealing powers. Also, the blacks were restored to being able to receive the priesthood, the Lamanite peoples are being restored to possess this land, and basic human rights are being restored to all individuals through the Constitution of the US, including to women. In fact, nearly every nation has adopted a similar constitution.

Now, when and where did women lose basic human rights? Throughout history, her position has been disrespected. In fact, the Old Testament contains some stories of how that society had become a very wicked society, had developed disrespect toward women. (Judges) So, during our dispensation women have been able to return to their rightful position beside her husband in a position of equality. I mean that the two: husband and wife are both equally important and deserving of respect. The Proclamation says: “equal partners.” The move toward restitution has created laws for women’s rights.

Women's rights have changed the way husbands and wives look at their roles in the family. So, the second point by Sis. Oscarson, elevating the divine roles of fathers and mothers, should warrant our defense. The Proclamation states: "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

Ezra Taft Benson gave a talk in 1987 entitled, “To the Fathers in Israel.” He said, As fathers in Israel, you have a great responsibility to provide for the material needs of your family and to have the necessary provisions in case of emergency.

Second, you have a sacred responsibility to provide spiritual leadership in your family.

In a pamphlet published some years ago by the Council of the Twelve, they said the following: “Fatherhood is leadership, the most important kind of leadership. It has always been so; it always will be so. Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home” (Father, Consider Your Ways, pamphlet, 1973, pp. 4–5).

However, along with that presiding position come important obligations. We sometimes hear accounts of men, even in the Church, who think that being head of the home somehow puts them in a superior role and allows them to dictate and make demands upon their family.

The Apostle Paul points out that “the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church” (Eph. 5:23; italics added). That is the model we are to follow in our role of presiding in the home. We do not find the Savior leading the Church with a harsh or unkind hand. We do not find the Savior treating His Church with disrespect or neglect. We do not find the Savior using force or coercion to accomplish His purposes. Nowhere do we find the Savior doing anything but that which edifies, uplifts, comforts, and exalts the Church. Brethren, I say to you with all soberness, He is the model we must follow as we take the spiritual lead in our families.

In October 1981 President Ezra Taft Benson gave a talk to the women of the church. It was entitled "The Honored Place of Women." In it he said, "I talk to you sisters on the honored place of women in the eternal plan of our Heavenly Father.

Sound principles and eternal truths need to be frequently repeated so that we do not forget their application nor become dissuaded by other arguments. We must ever keep in mind that it is the design of Satan to thwart the plan of our Eternal Father. The plan of the adversary is to destroy the youth of the Church—the “rising generation,” as the Book of Mormon calls them (see Alma 5:49)—and to destroy the family unit.

In the beginning, God placed a woman in a companion role with the priesthood. God said, “It was not good that the man should be alone; wherefore, I will make an help meet for him.” (Moses 3:18.)

Woman was given to man as an helpmeet. That complementary association is ideally portrayed in the eternal marriage of our first parents—Adam and Eve. They labored together; they had children together; they prayed together; and they taught their children the gospel together. This is the pattern God would have all righteous men and women imitate.

Before the world was created, in heavenly councils the pattern and role of women were prescribed. You were elected by God to be wives and mothers in Zion. Exaltation in the celestial kingdom is predicated on faithfulness to that calling.

Since the beginning, a woman’s first and most important role has been ushering into mortality spirit sons and daughters of our Father in Heaven.

Since the beginning, her role has been to teach her children eternal gospel principles. She is to provide for her children a haven of security and love—regardless of how modest her circumstances might be.

In the beginning, Adam was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow—not Eve. Contrary to conventional wisdom, a mother’s place is in the home!

I remember this talk years ago because I was there to hear it. It caused about as much uproar in the church as the situation involving same-sex marriage. I wondered then as I do now where  people's faith is.

I have always been an advocate for the stay-at-home mom. Ask my children. My daughters, when asked in school what they wanted to be, would say, "a mom." That did not get a favorable response from the teacher asking the question. The other day I sat with my children and explained to them a few ways that a mother who stays home with her children and gives her all to them is doing the best career she could ever dream of. First of all, there is no one dictating her time. She must create and manage the job responsibilities herself. What a great learning and developing process. I watch my daughter as she is making up the responsibilities of the job for her family. It is not a menial endeavor. I watch her using the internet that has become such a useful tool for getting ideas for organizing the house, organizing time, cleaning, cooking, budgeting and managing the finances, and trying to find solutions to problems that the children, their husbands and they are having. Also, fellow moms and parenting courses and books help to educate. And we cannot forget the importance of prayer as a priceless tool.

I have taught my children to seek a good marriage, someone they can respect, admire, and love. I have told my girls to find men who have the disposition, inclination and financial means (education usually necessary) to support them so that they are able to stay home with their children. I have taught my sons to prepare themselves to support their families in a way that will allow their wives to be home with their children. I have told them that, as a husband and father, they need to do whatever it takes to keep that family going, even if it means doing something they don’t enjoy. So, I’ve encouraged them to get an education in something that will have the possibility of making good money and that they would enjoy. Yes, education takes time and money, but school doesn't last forever and there is always a way financially. It has not been as easy to convince my sons of their responsibility. They like to roll their eyes at me; in fact, they might be doing it now. It is important that the father model a good example of his role in the family for their sons. It’s also important that the mother model a good example of her role. I cannot be the role model for my sons. Trust me, it is impossible. Mothers may claim to be successful at it, but she cannot be that role model for her sons.

I loved being in the home with my children. I fought to keep that job. It is gratifying to watch my daughter being a mother at home with her children, having married a man who could make that possible. My own very excellent mother attended a couple years of college but never finished a degree. She was always a stay-at-home mom. She encouraged me to get an education. So I went to college and got a degree. The leaders of the church, also, have encouraged women to get an education. This far into my life, I have asked myself, "Why should women get an education?" I see a lot of young girls who actually put off forming relationships with young men until they can finish their education. I also see a lot of men expecting their wives to take care of them because the wife has the education. Wives also feel compelled to use what they have spent so much time and money to acquire - a career. I also see women who put off childbearing for their careers.

What I am saying is we should be encouraging our daughters that education is great but that they should seek motherhood as a career, to make sure they have it in their sights. The education is to have tools to teach the children. Sis. Oscarson mentioned a woman who went to her children’s school to teach about her career as a mother and that she had to be an expert in medicine, psychology, religion, teaching, music, literature, art, finance, decorating, hair styling, chauffeuring, sports, culinary arts, and so much more. Now that takes education. Now that is a full-time job.

I am grateful for my education. It has saved me amidst several disasters, and I love to learn. There are many situations women may find themselves in. Sis. Oscarson said, “it’s a good idea to have an alternative plan in mind, which helps us to be covenant-keeping, charitable, and righteous people (she was speaking to the women of the church) who build the kingdom of God no matter which way our lives go. We need to teach everyone to aim for the ideal but plan for contingencies.”

I am here to tell you that motherhood is not just about giving birth, which job is exclusive to mothers, no matter how you try to rationalize it, and motherhood continues throughout the family's life. Being available for everything that may happen to those children is invaluable to them. Being there for them in everything, every whimper, wail, groan, giggle, and shout, preparing them for what is to come and being there for all of their successes and failures. When my daughter got her wisdom teeth extracted a few months ago, on my birthday no less, taking care of her put me back in my element as a mother. I received a blessing a couple weeks ago, and in it I was told that my children still needed my care.

Often, motherhood requires faith - faith that you can do the job. Faith that you can learn how to do it. Faith requires an attitude of belief that you are doing the right thing and then the action to carry it out. When finances are slim, it takes even more faith, but doing the will of our Heavenly Father will always bring miracles and blessings. Putting in a garden drew miracles. What was produced from my gardens was amazing! My parents were always in awe at my harvest. They had numerous reasons why my garden flourished. I know it was my faith and God's miracles. We ate well.  

The last principle that Sis. Oscarson said that we need to defend is the sanctity of the home. She said, “We need to take a term which is sometimes spoken of with derision and elevate it. It is the term “homemaker.” All of us—women, men, youth, and children, single or married—can work at being homemakers. We should “make our homes” places of order, refuge, holiness, and safety. Our homes should be places where the Spirit of the Lord is felt in rich abundance and where the scriptures and the gospel are studied, taught, and lived. What a difference it would make in the world if all people would see themselves as makers of righteous homes. Let us defend the home as a place which is second only to the temple in holiness.”

In conclusion, Sis. Oscarson said, “Life rarely goes exactly according to plan for anyone, and we are very aware that not all women, and I am going to add men, are experiencing what the proclamation describes. It is still important to understand and teach the Lord’s pattern and strive for the realization of that pattern the best we can.  Each of us has a part to play in the plan, and each of us is equally valued in the eyes of the Lord. We should remember that a loving Heavenly Father is aware of our righteous desires and will honor His promises, that nothing will be withheld from those who faithfully keep their covenants. Heavenly Father has a mission and plan for each of us, but He also has His own timetable. One of the hardest challenges in this life is to have faith in the Lord’s timing.”

I can tell you from personal experience that it is difficult to live a situation that is not the ideal of family as taught by the Gospel of Jesus Christ. God’s plan is easier and better all the way around, but I can tell you that if you remain faithful, the Lord will strengthen you with abilities beyond your natural abilities and will strengthen your faith with many tender mercies and will let you know that he is with you and knows you and your situation. I pray that we may seek the blessings of family taught by our prophets and apostles. I pray that we may have the faith to stick with the prophet in whatever situations we may find ourselves.

Bear testimony of family.

"Confessions of a Shopaholic" or How to Shop for your Body Type

With great frequency new styles of clothing appear on the racks in the stores. Every winter and summer we watch to see what the fashion "experts" think we should be wearing, and without fail, we add to our wardrobes something that will make us look up-to-date. Unfortunately, not all of it will enhance, in fact, a lot of it detracts from, the unique shape of an individual body.

Detraction can be seen, for example, in old saggy arms exposed in a sleeveless dress, a bouncy rear end that is jiggling in a pair of tight stretch pants, two or three stomach tires drooping in a knit shirt and low rise jeans, mounds of body bulging out of a tight shirt, even bony legs in jeggings and a skin tight top that makes even the skinniest reveal their lack of bustline, a double chin or rolls of neck set off by a wide neckline. If you think I am focusing on undesirable body parts, you're right. Every person has one or more of them at some time or another in their life. So, if a body part is undesirable, why emphasize it in choice of clothing?

Any body will look fatter or bigger than it really is when the clothing is tight against it just because tight clothes actually don't fit. Cotton or polyester jersey knit and rayon materials tend to be clingy and reveal every curve and shape. Heavier fabrics such as denims, corduroys, and linens keep their shape rather than take on the shape they are next to. Hips too wide can be camouflaged with a shirt that creates a vertical line from shoulder to hip. Shoulders too narrow need shirts that are designed with wide shoulder seams and sleeves that begin down the arm. Pudgy legs should not wear shorts or tight pants. All of these body parts can be de-emphasized with proper clothing choices.

Low-rise or mid-rise, now the norm, have changed the way women wear pants. (Someone please tell me why they were invented. I lived for 50 years wearing pants up to my waist, and now pants to the waist are considered weird. By the way, I still wear pants up to my waist.) Low-rise or mid-rise look good only on slim bodies because the pants aren't going to stay up unless they are tight, which tightness usually makes the stomach protrude creating a roll around the waistline (a characteristic distressingly common in this generation of female bodies). A few years ago women wore pants up to their waist, and the stomach was supported by the fabric and zipper and perhaps even a belt. Now, nothing is supporting that stomach, and in fact, revealing a roll of fat that most women would consider to be embarrassing.

I have wide shoulders. On the surface that wouldn't seem like an undesirable body part, but shopping for those shoulders can be frustrating. If I buy a shirt to fit the width of my shoulders, which would also be the comfortable thing to do, usually the body of the shirt is huge, looking frumpy. And vice versa, to buy a shirt that fits my body requires that my shoulders be unfitted. Instead, I have found that raglan sleeves de-emphasize that width and create a slimming, attractive line extending to the hip.

I also have long legs which are out of proportion with my upper body. So that I don't appear to have "all legs," I must avoid tucking shirts in at my waist, instead wearing shirts that extend over my hips. The longer shirt gives the illusory effect of lengthening my upper body and shortening my legs.

As I have aged, I have had to avoid wearing short sleeves. They reveal my droopy, less than toned arms. I also find myself preferring long pants to shorts because my legs aren't as youthful as they used to be.

In this world of casual dress t-shirts, I have to remember to wear tops that give me a waistline. I have one that is designed to do that, and I always get compliments when I wear it. Not strange to hear then that I bought two more of them.

A TV program that aired for several years on the TLC channel called "What Not to Wear" was an excellent vehicle for tips in attractive dressing. There were many women who came on the show with body types that had challenging problems, but the MC's were able to resolve all of them. Therefore, finding the right look may take some searching, turning down desired styles may be necessary, buying nice looking clothing may increase the budget, but everyone can find something that enhances rather than detracts from their natural beauty.

Finally... tile.

Finally,...

I have been wanting to replace the flooring in my kitchen for years. The Mannington linoleum that was purchased when the kitchen was remodeled in 1997 was the best available at that time. It had a lifetime warranty, whatever that means... Unfortunately, the warranty was nullified because we had put down the subfloor rather than having the installers put it down. Perhaps they would have used stainless steel staples/nails because the ones we used rusted underneath onto the linoleum and left yellow/orange spots. It wasn't pretty any longer. Besides the rust spots, it had become impossible to clean.

Regardless of my desire for new flooring, I couldn't afford it, despite my saving for it. On several occasions I had accumulated the funds and thought I could go ahead, but alas, the funds had to be used to replace or fix something else: a new furnace that wasn't near old enough to die, the replacement of the PSV valve (which yes, was old enough) so that the water pressure wouldn't flood my house, subsequent clearing out of the sewer line and toilet replacement, car repairs which seem to be incessant, large debt to Elevations CU - now zero, trips to California in 2010, 2011, and 2013, missionary expenses and wedding expenses, and then there was the year I had to pay for an appraisal, a washing machine, and a motor for the air conditioner, and I guess I could have bought flooring instead of the flat screen TV, but we sure would have missed out on a lot of entertainment.

Looking back, those things were necessary, and now at this point, I thought I could go ahead with it, having saved up the money. I held my breath as my dishwasher fell apart (earlier than it should have, I might add) and then doggedly pushed on as my garage door had a minor issue and as I considered other options for the use of the money.

I found someone to do the work, picked out the tile which was difficult; I should have picked out the tile before I found the tiler, but I finally decided on the look, color and design I thought I would like on my floor. I also decided to tile an entry way at my front door and replace the flooring in my basement bathroom along with installing baseboards (bullnose) in the kitchen and bathroom. The kitchen tile was purchased at Contempo Ceramic Tile Co. - Danya Stream DY01 12x12 STREAM.  The basement bathroom tile was purchased at Lowe's or Home Depot - Floriana Heather, 12x12, Item #0399396, Model #PORF12H (FL12H 1214-50E).

It took a week to accomplish the whole job - I wasn't expecting that.

The first day we moved the fridge and oven, and he pulled up the old linoleum. Underneath was waferboard. He was going to pull that up as well, but seeing it was not particle board (I told him that, but he apparently didn't believe me), he decided to leave it and put the cement board on top of it. 

 

 

The second day he finished putting down the cement board. 

 

 

The third day he started laying the tile.

And then finished it on the fourth day.

It had to set for 24 hours, so the fifth day he spread on the grout and began laying the bullnose in the kitchen, the tile in the living room entry way and the basement bathroom as well as the bullnose there. We moved the fridge and the oven back at the end of that work day.

The sixth day he smoothed the grout over all of that, nailed a metal plate between the kitchen tile and hall carpet and cleaned up.

 

 

 

 

 

I am pleased, and I think it looks wonderful. It has made my house look so much better, and the agony of cleaning the floors, I hope, is gone. No longer is there even a spec of linoleum in my house. Finally...


I wrote this during the first week after getting tile flooring. I admit I was trying to ignore the slabs of tile that seemed misplaced, but my children pointed them out to me. Since then I have cried over my tile. Yes, my floor is easier to clean, but each tile is placed without any thought to leveling. I called this guy back, asked him to look at some of the tiles. He came in the house with a bucket and a crowbar ready to break a few and replace them. I had marked the ones that I felt he needed to look at, but there were so many that he deemed the job as needing to be completely redone. He took the name of the tile to purchase, and I was expecting to see him in a couple of weeks to redo the job, but he never returned. I called him, texted him, but he wouldn't respond. This was during the time when I was busy getting Erin ready for her mission so I didn't have a lot of time to devote to it, but after she was on her way, I called the guy again, and still nothing.


Finally, I had a different tiler come in and look at it, and he said it was within industry standards, just as the main tiler had said, but he immediately could see that the floor was not level therefore rendering each tile to be unlevel. It feels very uncomfortable under my feet. He recommended tearing it all up and putting down mud to level the floor and then laying the tile on a level floor. I would love to do that, but I spent the money that I had saved and resaved many times on the poor job that exists.


A couple weeks ago I submitted a claim to BBB, and as of this date, June 15, 2016, I have heard nothing.

A review of "Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption" by Laura Hillenbrand

Many years ago when I was a young teenager, I read "The Great Escape." I also read another book, but I don't remember the name of it. These two books were biographies about World War II German prison camps. They fascinated and frightened me. Now, this many years later, reading a similar story unfolded in Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption. I found it almost impossible to read. What difference do so many years make? I wondered this same thing as I tried to watch "Hunger Games" on TV. Sitting there with my children who seemed to be eating it up, I couldn't make it through the show. The subject matter was horrible. The amount of suffering inflicted and fear put in the hearts of those children was unbearable to watch. I had the same feelings as I was reading this book, "Unbroken." Many times I wondered if I shouldn't continue because my nervous system was in pain. I will not be viewing the movie, as a precise image would probably send me for a loop. I read it at work between calls, so 30 seconds, 1 minute, 2 minutes at a time is probably what saved me, but it was fascinating...

The story set forth in "Unbroken" is about Louis Zamperini, a bombardier in World War II whose plane crashed in the Pacific Ocean. He and two others lived through the crash to be able to float for days on life rafts to then be captured by the Japanese. The story was presented extremely well, artistically and meticulously, by the author, Laura Hillenbrand.

The story began with a description of his childhood which showed how he had the background to be able to survive such an ordeal. The word used in the book to describe his childhood was that he was a "delinquent." He could steal a freshly baked apple pie out of the neighbor's house without anyone's knowing. He was always in trouble, and everyone in his town hated him. As I read, I remember feeling an aversion for him; I was amazed at how the author had painted a picture of this person so that I felt what the townspeople were feeling.

Finally, his older brother took charge of him and convinced him to focus on sports, specifically track, and through intense training, Louis Zamperini became a candidate for the Olympics. Weeks before he was to enter his second Olympics, he was called up to war.

Louie, his nickname, decided to serve in the United States Army Air Corps. After months of training as a bombardier, his group was sent to the Pacific Islands. They had gone on several campaigns to take out the Japanese, but the one that downed Louie's plane was a search party to rescue a lost plane and crew. In the process their plane went down as well. I tend to think that it would not have happened if they had been in a reliable plane. The "Green Hornet" wasn't sound, everyone knew that, but the commanding officer ordered it, so they went.

Once in the water, Louie seemed to have drowned. He couldn't get back to the surface. He swallowed water, he lost consciousness, but all of a sudden, he was up and out and breathing. He mentions that he didn't understand how that happened when his condition seemed doomed. Once at the surface, he went for the life rafts. He almost lost one, but all of a sudden, he noticed the rope trailing behind it, and he grabbed it. So, they had two rafts that he tied together. Phil, the pilot, and Mac also made it to the surface, and they climbed in the two rafts.

The next 47 days were spent trying to survive on the ocean. In training, the men had learned what could be done if they were found stranded in any kind of scenario, and Louie's mind was constantly working out how to eat, how to keep afloat, how to stay alive. There were a few fish hooks which they used to catch fish, but, eventually, those were gone, at which time, Louie made hooks from fish bones that they kept from the remains. All remains were put to use. Sometimes they dived for fish or simply (actually, not so simple) caught them with their hands. For weeks the sharks had been circling their rafts, and finally, Louie resolved to take one out. He figured out a way to kill the shark; a screwdriver through the eye immediately rendered it lifeless. Then, getting it in the raft, Louie set about skinning it, deboning it, and finding the liver which was the only part that was edible. They collected drinking water from dew forming or rain falling on plastic sheets because sea water is not safe to drink. With just enough food and water to maintain life, all three men became skeletons.

Whenever a plane flew overhead, means were taken to gain visibility. Unfortunately, they were too small to be seen in the huge ocean. One Japanese plane did spot them and circled them with guns blazing numerous times. Louie jumped in the ocean and hid under one of the rafts. Phil and Mac, too weak from starvation and immobility, curled up on the raft and hoped to be missed. Miraculously, all three of them survived. How that could have been possible was not known. The rafts were full of bullet holes. Louie and Phil spent the next several days bailing water and patching holes. They let one of the rafts go, and all three men now occupied the very crowded confines of one raft.

A very important part of their survival was to keep their minds active and positive. Phil and Louie spent several hours everyday tossing math problems and riddles back and forth. They recounted childhood events and army stories. They figured where they were travelling by the sun, moon, stars and flow of the ocean. They kept track of the days. Louie's mind that was so active and imaginative as a youth was put to the test in this experience. Mac, on the other hand, didn't participate. He had no hope for survival, and he dwindled daily. He did eventually die, and they buried his body at sea. It was providential, I believe, that all sea life left his body alone.

Perhaps it is obvious that they were being divinely protected, but to make Louie sure of it, near the end of their time on the ocean, he heard and saw angels singing. He asked Phil if he had heard it, but no, it was a manifestation just for Louie. Soon after this manifestation, they spotted land, and although it was several days before they reached it, their spirits were lifted.

With land came people and the wrong kind of people; Japanese prison camps were the next trial. Despite being on land, there was still little food, and treatment by guards was horrible. Louie even wished to be back on the raft. Whereas, time on the rafts was difficult, time in the camps was detrimental to self-respect. Numerous times Louie had bones broken or was rendered unconscious from beatings. Louie said, "The crash of Green Hornet had left Louie and Phil in the most desperate physical extremity, without food, water, or shelter. But on Kwajalein, the guards sought to deprive them of something that had sustained them even as all else had been lost: dignity. This self-respect and sense of self-worth, the innermost armament of the soul, lies at the heart of humanness; to be deprived of it is to be dehumanized, to be cleaved from, and cast below, mankind. Men subjected to dehumanizing treatment experience profound wretchedness and loneliness and find that hope is almost impossible to retain. Without dignity, identity is erased. In its absence, men are defined not by themselves, but by their captors and the circumstances in which they are forced to live. One American airman, shot down and relentlessly debased by his Japanese captors, described the state of mind that his captivity created: 'I was literally becoming a lesser human being.'"

Phil and Louie were separated into individual jail cells and then into completely different camps, and Louie didn't know how Phil fared until he returned home. I confess I had to look at the end of the story to ease my mind before I could continue on in the story, and he did marry the girl who was waiting for him.

Finally, the war ended, and they were freed. It took years to get Louie's digestive system working properly - amazing how resilient the human body is. He had many emotional problems to contend with upon his return, but when he eventually remembered the goodness of God in protecting his life, that God loved him and felt he had worth, rather than the hatefulness of the Japanese guards and even the errors of the American military leaders, he began to heal. He turned his life over to God and Christ and encouraged others to do the same. I'm sure that our Heavenly Father is pleased with how he used his talents, how he never gave up, how he honored the Lord despite all. He married, had children, embarked on a motivational speaking career, and became famous for his war exploits. In 2014 he died at the age of 97; once sure that he would soon be dead, he ended up living a good long life.

It is of note that the author, Laura Hillenbrand, was suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome while she was writing this book which took several years, 2002-2010, to accomplish. Unable to leave her house for years, she pushed forward in the task of gathering facts. Now, her health is not so precarious, but it is not surprising to me that forces might not want this story uncovered. If there is "anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy," which things testify of God and Christ, the adversary would not want them to go forth. Francis Webster, a member of the Martin Handcart Company, stated concerning that experience, “Everyone of us came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our extremities [greatest suffering].” The Lord has promised that if you are true and faithful, the Lord himself may be “in your midst and ye cannot see me.” (D&C 38:7.) Even if you do not see him, he can “be on your right hand and on your left, and [his] Spirit shall be in your hearts,” and the angels will be “round about you, to bear you up.” (D&C 84:88.) Without a doubt, the angels and the Lord's Spirit were with Louie and the other men.

The effects of the Obama years/Tithing Tales - III

I thought I would write about how my life has changed since Obama has been President of the United States. I hadn't really thought about this until I found myself rationalizing why I work at this lousy Sorenson CaptionCall job after six years. So, here it is:

I began working at SLCC during the latter half of 2008 (August). It provided, along with tuition payments from my studio piano students, almost enough income (at least during the fall and spring semesters), but I had to make just a little extra money to make ends meet, so I applied for work at Sorenson. I had heard about this job through a student who had previously taken piano lessons from me and now was in one of my music theory classes. I easily was offered a job and began working 14 hours each week for Sorenson. I was not planning to stay with Sorenson long, hoping to log experience with SLCC and build up my piano business further which had grown to about 26 students.

With the bail outs of 2008-2009, many companies lost business which caused people to lose jobs. This domino effect extended to me because with lost jobs, people give up frivolous things. So, I lost many students during this time. To counter the loss, I tried to pick up at least 15 extra hours each week at Sorenson from someone who was trying to trade away their shift.

During the 2009-2010 year at SLCC I was given only two classes to teach as opposed to the regular three classes. People who had lost jobs had come to SLCC to beg for employment, and someone in charge granted it even though there wasn't the need. Therefore, I was pushed aside. Instead of going out to find other work, I worked through my budget and found that if I didn't pay for anything besides the monthly bills, I would be okay - meaning, I had no miscellaneous fund whatsoever.

In March 2010, the Affordable Care Act was passed into law, and businesses across the US had to reorganize. The law would distinguish between full-time and part-time employment in specific detail in order to monitor who would or would not be paid health insurance benefits. This actually improved my situation because adjuncts who had been given four or five classes had to give some of them up. I was given three classes again. However, the hope to increase my class load any further was eliminated.

So, it was established how the next several years would go. Three 3-credit classes was the limit. That worked well for me as long as I did get three. At times I was scheduled for two classes until an assessment of need could be determined. Nervous anticipation always accompanied the waiting. At the same time, I was feeling out the private piano lesson climate. Pam Jones, an adjunct, was basically in charge of it. There is no piano department at SLCC, so a good way to rise to the top is by taking care of a need. She wondered if the school could handle opening up another section of piano lessons. I didn't get any students until one semester Pam and Stephanie Smith had students they couldn't fit into their schedules. They came to me; I, of course, took their surplus students, and the school had to open two sections of private piano lessons for me (MUSC 1730, 1732). The next year I was automatically scheduled for two or three sections (also, MUSC 1735) of private piano lessons, and students signed up.

This workload kept me busy: three classes, several (8-12) piano students, part-time at Sorenson, and 8-12 students in my private studio. I managed it until at the beginning of 2011, my private insurance company, Blue Cross Blue Shield, decided to increase my insurance premium to $600/month to align themselves with Obamacare regulations. Fortunately, at that time Sorenson asked for part-timers to become full-time. I jumped on it; I took on 32 full-time hours, which was a nice option. Since I had been picking up 29 hours for some time, three more was nothing. (I tried to fit in another eight hours but couldn't accomplish that without creating a really undesireable schedule.) With full-time hours came affordable health insurance as well as other benefits. I consider this a blessing of tithing.

At the end of June 2013 we took a trip to the cabin. While there, I could check my work emails, and I found out that organizational changes were taking place. Upon returning, I was informed that my job would be gone by the end of July. Apparently, the FCC had lowered the price per call so significantly that it was not cost-effective to continue SIPRelay. I mulled over what to do, where to go, whether I could live without $1000/month. The next day the management took me aside and, surprisingly, offered me the options of transferring over to CaptionCall, the newly formed company, or receiving a severance pay to cover three months of living expenses. Apparently, because I was full-time and had been there for five years and was in good standing, they were willing to honor my loyalty. I took CaptionCall. Another blessing, I believe, that over these years I had been convinced by the spirit to submit to the endless rules at Sorenson, difficult for a stay-at-home mom who has complete control of her time.

Many people's lives were disrupted because of the dissolution of SIP. Some, like myself, went to CC, while others who should have received better offers, decided to leave. Since Sorenson had to absorb the blow, there were more employees than were needed to operate business in CC. For nearly a year, CC worked to put itself within strict business ratios: expenses vs. income. I found out two years later that the managers at the SLC location were giving disciplinary notices at a rate of 75% higher than the other locations. I know it was to get rid of people, and they were successful. Unfortunately, many would leave hating Sorenson. I was among those who received disciplinary notes. I was slow to learn how to do the captioning. Came to realize, I had to change the way I spoke so that the computer would recognize words. Since I wasn't getting it, I received warnings and a bad taste in my mouth for CaptionCall.

Finally, I got it, all was well, and I was gaining piano students at SLCC until the summer of 2014 when we got word that no adjunct could have more than 9 credit hours. That meant I would have to drop my students, who tended to drop at a whim which would lower my income, and I needed steady income. Toni, the administrative assistant for the Fine Arts and Communications Department, called everyone in to personally discuss the situation with them. By then, I had worked out my schedule, so the meeting was not necessary, but while I was there, trying to make sense of the regulations, I said to Toni, "So, if I need to make a little more money, I cannot work as a staff member (secretarial) for SLCC, correct?" I think that put something into perspective for her, as she was trying to make sense of the regulations as well. Anyway, the next week they reinstated my piano students, apologizing for the confusion and claiming that new light had been shed on the situation. Unfortunately, not many students registered, which I blamed on this mishap. I would later find out that Pam Jones had quit, they had hired a new teacher to pick up Pam's students, and that left me out. I don't know why they couldn't give me her students, except I think it was that I had only a master's degree.

Life continues under Obama.

Through the Eyes of an Immigrant - "Green Card"

I saw this movie years ago, in which Andie MacDowell made her debut to me; I thought she was very pretty and couldn't figure out how she could fall for the ugly Gerard Depardieu with his crooked nose, but it turned out to be a good show, and illustrates some of the problems immigrants have.

I meet a lot of people as a teacher at SLCC. They come from many different backgrounds. I know this because one of the assignments to create a Musical Heritage PowerPoint reveals their ethnicities. A student I had this past semester was found to be from Uruguay. He and his father and brother left Uruguay looking for something better in the US. It is hard for me to understand why anyone would travel to a different country with the hopes that things would be better. It seems that building a new life would be far more expense and mystery than what you would face if you stayed. Surely, these people must be guided.

Marcelo was a nice student, respectful, and not afraid to approach me. On a couple different occasions he stayed after class just to chat. I found out that he and his family have been in the US for 14-15 years. They left Uruguay because employment conditions were very difficult. His father, who had a college degree, was not able to produce enough money to buy basic necessities. Unfortunately, that degree has been useless in the US.

Marcelo remembers his father applying for a passport and visa at the immigration office. He had to prove that he and his sons would be returning. His father did not sell his house. Instead, he gave it to some relatives, who, he proved to the officials, would be taking care of it while he was "visiting" America.

They lived as illegal aliens for eight years. Marcelo feared officials in all corners of life: school, work, government. He recalls being afraid of being found out and being sent back. His father emphasized being a good student, a good employee, and a good person so that no one would look into their background. Finally, they saved enough money to go before the immigration officials to request citizenship. They hired an immigration attorney - the cost was $7500. That was a discounted price because Marcelo and his brother were minors. Normally, it would have been $10,000. It was not a requirement to have an attorney, but the attorney knew the ins and outs of the law, so the chance of a successful outcome was better. They received their "permanent resident" cards, which expire after ten years.

As a "permanent resident," Marcelo served an LDS mission. He is now pursuing an education and looking forward to possibly getting married to a girl he is presently dating. The term paper he submitted to fulfill one of the requirements of the class was the best I had read from someone who had English as his second language. It was well researched and engaging. The grammar was well done; he received one of the higher scores in my classes. Apparently, he had taken AP English in high school. He speaks pretty good English, but I can tell he keeps up with his Spanish. Asked whether Marcelo thought the US should drop the immigration laws, he said, "No, that process needs to be done, but the cost is the problem."